The past 6 months I've been reading a book that's been BLOWING my mind ... "Let's All Be Brave" by Annie F. Downs. Do yourself a favor and pause the reading so you can add it to your Amazon shopping cart, you won't regret it. Her writing It feels like you are sitting down with a friend for a coffee date. She is warm, funny, real, honest, and full of life giving truth.I picked it up while dog-sitting at a friends house and couldn't put it down, a couple chapters in I finally lifted my head and took a deep breath, trying to remember all the GOOD STUFF that I had just read; looking over my highlights and stars next to really awesome sentences. Looking back now, this book came into my life at the absolutely perfect time and Jesus was preparing my heart for the big stuff He has lead me into this month, this week, and today.
I'm tempted to write down every awesome thing in the book, but I'll contain myself to the last big statements that have pushed me to really truly be brave.
"God is perfect (we are not). He sees the big picture (we do not). He knows everything (we do not). So I choose to believe in this -- that I am who I am on purpose, that the One who made me has a purpose and has unconditional love for me and those in my life." {pg. 38}Therefore, these three things I must believe about myself and God ...
"(1) God made you on purpose and unique ... (2) God has called you to be brave ... (3) God will equip you to do it." {pg. 42}WHOA. Can we just take a second and realize how powerful those words are?! These words are game changers people. After reading that I asked myself, "what would my life look like if I truly believe those three things?" and then I started the journey of trying to be brave.
Just a couple weeks ago I got to the chapter "Let go" ... and boy was it a doozy. But the good kind where it goes straight to your gut and you just know that THIS is what you need to read, right now. You see, I had been going through some pretty big life stuff/decisions/processing (job stuff, future stuff, boy stuff, the list could go on ...) and I could sense God was calling me to something ... but I didn't know what it was.
And then he literally dropped it in my lap one night before bed.
"Letting go has always been hard for me. Yet I have seen, over and over again, that to simply let go is a powerful catalyst God will use to move me toward the next best thing. I couldn't grab hold of Nashville until I let go of Marietta. I couldn't grab hold of Edinburgh until I let go of Nashville. It's always nice, a wee bit easier, to let go when you know what you are grabbing hold of ... The deeper call for courage comes when you let go with nothing ahead to grab." {pg. 128}I should just get it out there now: I'm a control freak (... in recovery?). But that was exactly it, God was calling me to let go. To open my hands. To let go of the illusion of control. More specifically, to say goodbye to something and hello to another thing. But guys, it was scary. Super scary. Because in that moment, I knew that God was calling me to LET GO, which meant that I had to say goodbye to a steady, dependable, paying, job and accept a new and exciting, but very temporary summer job.
Jesus was calling me to be brave, to let go and trust and to just do the next right thing. SO, that's what I did and he has met me every step of the way.
At times of doubt I would hear God saying to me,
"Kelly, do you trust me?"
... silence ... crickets ...
"YES God, I do, I have to! You are my only option!"
Right there ... that was the BRAVE thing for me to do, to TRUST GOD in the middle of letting go and hoping that I don't fall on my face in front of everyone.
And so, I took the amazing, but temporary, dream job for the summer and submitted my resignation at work ... then a wave of peace washed over me. I know this is the right decision for me. It has Jesus' finger prints all over it. To get even more real, I've been praying about this specific job at this specific camp for TWO YEARS, asking God for just one more chance to work at camp and He gave it to me. He handed it to me on a silver platter.
That's what being brave has been like for me and who knows ... maybe this piece of my story helps you to trust God just a little bit more. To be honest, I'm probably writing this more for me because I know, come late August when I have to look for another job after my amazing summer at camp ends, I'll need to remember how GOOD and FAITHFUL and LOVING and KIND God has been to me these last couple months, gently wooing me to follow Him, gently nudging me to take a risk, to pursue a dream, and to trust Him with everything.
{ currently listening to the "P.S. I Love You" soundtrack by John Powell, give it a listen, you won't be sorry ... }
